ATX Baby

As most of you know... I am coming home in September (the 16th-23rd to be exact) and I am so excited!!! I can't wait to see everyone and spend time with my loved ones and support group. I am looking forward to sharing laughs, catching up on the past 5 months and eating some Tex-Mex which is the food I miss the most. Although I am excited, I am a bit worried as well. I feel like I've finally hit my stride here in Bangkok- I like my job more and more, I have more free time on my hands, Kim just finished her CELTA today and I have managed to make some truly amazing friends. I am afraid that I will get homesick all over again when I get back and not be able to enjoy my moments here in the same way. That being said, I know it's an attitude and mostly within my control but I am scared that I am just not going to want to be here anymore. It's a small fear and I am trying to focus on the good times that I will have with everyone and when I am back in Thailand. For some strange reason, I know that I am supposed to be here and that my time in this beautiful country isn't done...

Now I'll delve into my experience here a bit more. I have finally gotten a better handle on how I approach my days and that has made a HUGE difference. I not only feel more comfortable with teaching (it has been 3 months since I started) but I am just having a lot more fun with it. If a lesson doesn't go perfectly, then I'm taking what I can from it in order to do a better job next time. My hours have dropped quite a bit so I have more free time to do things and finally get some sleep! I'm working out, reading, visiting new parts of the city and spending more time with friends. It's all proper fun (which is my new favorite phrase).

I went to Hua Hin, which is a beach where the King lives, for a day trip a couple of weeks ago and that was really nice. It was good to get out of the hustle and bustle of the city and it actually made me appreciate Bangkok more. I (of course) got a weird sunburn, ran on the beach, drank a few beers and munched on fresh crab while there. I had my first bus experience in Thailand which is a lot like riding buses in Mexico and it was actually kind of fun, albeit hot.

That being said, I am still searching for balance in my life but I feel like I'm being much more honest with myself (and the people around me) than I've been able to do for a while now. I know that I am not going to teach English or live in Bangkok for the rest of my life, but I am finding my own sense of home in my skin and that has been so liberating. Life is pretty good right now so I'm just going to enjoy it while it lasts and keep moving forward as best I can.

Love you all and can't wait to see you. The plan is to go to Polvo's on Saturday night and then to either the Mean Eyed Cat or G&S. Hope to see you all there! XOXO

Update

Thanks to everyone that has offered their support, warmth and love during my somewhat low and difficult times. You all have my admiration, devotion and ever-lasting friendship!

To update you about how I'm doing now- Well, I'm doing much better! Having Kim here has been a bit challenging (as predicted) but it has also been great! We are both getting used to have each other around again... then add in the fact that we're in a new city, with new jobs/studies and living together for the first time and its taking a bit of adjustment. :) But, it is so nice to have her here to explore Bangkok with, to share my everyday thoughts and to just chill out with after a long day, or week. She is about to finish the first week of her CELTA course and she's feeling stressed out by the workload. Having just been through it, I completely understand and I can't help but smile. I was SO THERE not long ago and I guess you just get through it, look back and have a little laugh about the good times and reflect on how much you've learned.

As far as the job goes... the situation hasn't gotten that much better but my attitude has. I am still working far too much but I am not putting as much pressure on myself. I am trying to just learn from it and have fun while doing so. I feel like I'm getting the hang of it a bit better but there are still extremely challenging moments. The whole thing has been great for me though! I have fully grasped the fact that my approach and mindframe is the largest contrubuting factor to happiness in any job (or life for that matter!). Of course there are other factors and I know this sounds really simple, but it has been something I've had to work really hard at accepting. It is quite liberating!

Bangkok is still a tough city to live in but I am getting more and more used to it all. I'm not as exhausted by the day anymore and I've managed to do some fun things as well. I hit golf balls at a driving range with friends yesterday, have seen a few movies, been bowling and I'm working out regularly. Last week, Kim and I went to Chinatown and visited Khao San Road (which is backpacker central and there are a lot of cool places like coffee shops and bars) and that was a lot of fun!

So, all in all, let's just say that I'm adjusting better. I have had a few moments in the past 2 weeks where I just think, 'I'm in Bangkok!' It intensely overwhelms me with strength, wonderment and pride. I can't believe that I actually did this and I become even more determined to enjoy each moment as much as possible.

I miss everyone a lot but know that I think about you all of the time. I hope you are all doing well and surviving the heat!

Always,
Sonya

New Blog!!!

First of all, let me apologize for how long it has been since I last blogged. The reasons will become clear as you read on. :)

Life has been a bit difficult for me lately... Teaching is really hard and if I thought I was getting into a job that would allow me to work less hours than real estate, then I was mistaken. I worked 58 hours in 6 days this past week! Just teaching, in it of itself, is very challenging even without the crazy hours. I have endured being fired by a student (for being boring!) along with having one throw a tantrum and leave the classroom. She is 7 and refused to do anything- it was so bad that she said she didn't want to sit or stand. What do you do with that?- As it turns out she had a 100 degree temperature and was incredibly sick which is why she acted as she did, but still... It hit me pretty hard. All of this forced my insecurities and doubts to manifest into something utterly unavoidable. I have been on the move and doing so many things for the past few months that I was easily distracted from such things. I got to a point where I couldn't pull that off any longer and I was very low for while because of it.

It all started with my birthday... It was the first one I can recall that was not only away from my twin (which is HUGE) but also from my friends, family and support group. I had a few friends from my CELTA course here (one of whom traveled from Chiang Mai and that made me feel very special) and my work friends. We all went out and had a really good time but it was frankly, a bit empty. I am still getting to know these people so I couldn't just let loose and be me, which is something I desperately craved. Then, a bunch of my friends from back home (you know who you are! XOXO) and I had a Skype chat where they took shots with me at 8 am their time and we talked for almost an hour. What an amazing experience! I was so touched and overwhelmed by the love they have for me. It was amazing and hard at the same time. It made me miss everyone a lot and I had to get off at the end before I just started crying because I was so moved by it all. After that, Tiff, Kim and Liz made a cardboard cutout of me and took pictures around Austin of all my favorite places as if I was there. Wow! It was THE sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me and it made me so happy but exacerbated my desire to be home. Those next few weeks were filled with longing, loneliness and quite a bit of questioning as to what I'm doing here.

I finally got to a place where I became comfortable with the idea that I am here because I want to experience something else in my life. There is no doubt that the separation has made me recognize and appreciate what I have that much more. What a beautiful gift! I am slowly becoming more capable, knowledgable and able to teach English effectively. I'm making friends and am setting into life in Bangkok decently. There were a few weeks where seemingly almost anything could break me- be it waiting for mutliple trains to get to work, 7-11 not having an orange Fanta when I really wanted one, having to leave to get more water or not being able to sleep. I was breakable, no doubt, but somehow I always knew that I had enough in me to not break completely, and the thought of all the people back home that have my back kept me going.

I wouldn't say that I'm in a perfect place now- life is still challenging- but I feel good about where I'm at and I'm determined to live this experience to the fullest, whatever form it may come in. Kim gets here in 2 days which has assuaged my thoughts of loneliness and homesickness tremendously. However, I know that will bring its own set of hurdles to overcome. For better or worse, I have grown accustomed to my individual lifestyle and it will be a transition for me to re-write that. Through all of this, she has been my rock. Someone to talk to when I'm at my lowest that offers support, kind words and never-ending admiration of the person I am. That cannot be quantified in any sort of way and means the world to me. I really can't wait for this phase of my (slash our!) trip. :)

There is no doubt in my mind that I am blessed to have so many beautiful people in my life! Know that I think about you lovingly and often. I wish you all nothing less than happiness in every moment. And here is a big thank you for who you are and what you do for me!!!!

BKK

Bangkok is a massive city- in fact, its one of the largest in the world with over 13 million people. The city doesn't sleep and there are people milling about at all times of day but even so, the traffic is horrendous! I am so glad they have a good mass transportation system that can navigate one-way-or-the-other around the mess. Otherwise, the city would be miserable.

I have been thrown right into teaching and will start this weekend with 6, 1.5+ hour classes. This may not sound like a lot but to a new teacher, there is a lot of planning that goes into every lesson. I have been at work everyday just preparing for the weekend. I have also been trying to find a place to live which is quite a bit overwhelming because not only do I not know the city, but I don't speak the language. I think I am going to find some short-term accommodation while I figure it out and not stress about it too much.

Today was interesting... I wanted to pick up a package my Mom sent me from DHL. It got commandeered at the airport and I had to go there (which is 45 minutes away from anything) and clear customs before I could receive it. It ended up taking me 3 hours in total! I had to go through no less than 8 security check points and even received a clearance badge for the day. The funny thing is that they didn't take my mace. Hehe. I'm not sure if the Thais know what mace is because I accidentally flew with it once without a problem as well.

I have wondered around the city trying to learn and figure it out and am just overwhelmed with curiosity and excitement. I really do love it here! I know I will be happy living here for a year and look forward to getting used to it.

In the meantime, I want to go ahead and list my top 10 curiosities about BKK:

1) How do they fit 7 people in a Tuk-Tuk? (Think pedi-cab but motorized and with 3 wheels- it's small though!)

2) Why do the girls wear huge heels if they're going to walk all day?

3) Is it really humanly possible to eat something that spicy without sweating, crying, or both?

4) How many "Nana" couples can you spot in one day? ("Nana" means older farang man with a younger Thai lady.)

5) Where did the cement on my shoe come from? And more importantly, did I leave a footprint?

6) Where is the mother of that unattended kid begging near the subway?

7) How are you not sweating in this sweltering heat?

8) What exactly is that you want me to eat??!?!?!?!

9) Is it really that terrible to eat McDonald's?

10) What part of "kor toyt ka, mai ow ka" (I'm sorry, I do not want) don't you understand?????

Hope you are all well. I miss and think about you a lot!

CELTA

Phew!!!! I finished my CELTA course today and I passed! It was a lot of hard work but I am glad that I did it. It definitely helped prepare me and I was even able to secure a job before I finished the course. We had a big party last night with the students where they brought us local food, danced, gave us gifts and we gave them certificates. I actually ate a fried cockroach which I've never done before. It wasn't that bad but I don't plan on making it a habit...

I accepted a teaching position in Bangkok at International House (www.ihbangkok.com). They actually put on the CELTA course so I know that the school is well-run. My biggest fear has been accepting a job where they school doesn't deliver on their promises (or payment) so having this peace of mind is invaluable to me. I am going to be paid 35,000 Baht/month for the first two months and then it increases to 40,000 Baht/Month. That may sound like a lot but it is actually $1,026 and $1,173/month. Surprisingly, it puts me in the middle class here in Thailand!

I am excited but also sad to leave all of my friends here in Chiang Mai. We have grown really close, having spent so much time together over the past month. I have actually cried a few tears just thinking about it. I am avoiding the task of packing because the reality of the move is a bit scary. I don't really know anyone in Bangkok and I will have to create a life of my own, in a foreign place where I don't speak the language. I'm sure I'll be fine- Bangkok is a very international city where people speak English a lot- but the customs are different and they hike up the prices for Farang so I will have to get used to that and figure the city out.

It's still really hot but the rainy season starts soon which should help the weather cool down. I am excited for my last weekend of freedom before I start work. It has been a 3 months since I have worked and I really enjoyed my holiday. But, it's time to start making some money again. :)

I love and miss you all and will blog again once I'm in BKK. XOXO

Hang Dong

I am staying at a hotel/resort in a town outside of Hang Dong (yes, that's the name), which is outside of Chiang Mai, Thailand. Chiang Mai is the second biggest city in Thailand and some say the cultural center. It has a bit of Austin flavor as there is a river in the heart of the city, lined with cool clubs and amazing restaurants. There are a lot of outdoor pubs with hanging lights and it has a generally laid back atmosphere. I haven't been able to explore as much as I would like because the course is so intense, but what I have seen, I have really enjoyed. I am staying in Chiang Mai proper the weekend after my course is over, and one of my new friends is going to take me to a lake where people hang out, drink beer and relax (like the greenbelt). I'm also going to see the Pandas at the Chiang Mai Zoo and I am so excited! There are rumors that the female panda might be pregnant!

The course continues to be very intense but I am learning so much and I am happy that I am taking it. I was able to get out of the grounds last Sunday and went for a walk. I guess I was excited because I didn't stop walking- I explored over 9 miles and was gone for more than 5 hours! I ate pizza twice because I had an intense craving for western food. I had a prisciutto and arugula (or rocket as they call it here) pizza which is my absolute favorite and it was delicious. I will say that Thai food is very good and I don't really tire of it... I just need my pizza fix every now and again. I found a go-cart track where I raced a couple of 7/8 year-old kids. Let me just say that they don't have governors on their go-carts here and those suckers go FAST! I got my ass kicked by the kids because I was too scared to go that fast. I had some amazing ice cream, found some good wine and had an all-around great day. It was so nice to see something new... I've felt kind of stuck here. It would have been perfect if I hadn't gotten huge, 1 inch blisters on both of my feet. They are just now starting to feel ok, but it was totally worth it!

Tomorrow is Friday and it is the end of my third week in the course, which means I only have one more left! Then, it's off to Bangkok to find a job and a place to live and really start my new life in Thailand. It is going to be weird because I have grown accustomed to my new friends and fellow teachers whom I see everyday. Not knowing anyone in as big of a city as BKK is a bit daunting but I know I will meet people at my job and hopefully have someone to hang out with! I am also looking forward to finding some place to volunteer. The Thai people are so warm and accommodating that I just can't help but want to give something back. I miss the street food from Bangkok as well. I know that's weird but it's definitely the best bang for your buck, quality and price-wise, of any food I've ever encountered.

One more lesson to part with: instant coffee is all they have here and Folgers is considered premium. I thought I was a coffee snob before I left, but I think Thailand will change that. Just. Need. Caffeine.

Love you all!

Mozzies

Everyone in Thailand calls mosquitoes 'mozzies.' I have no idea where it comes from but I have picked it up, mostly to just seem cool. A few of them got in my room the other day and waged war on me in the middle of the night. It turns out that I am severely allergic to the mosquitoes here and I look like I got in a fight... that I lost. My left ear lobe is really swollen, I have a huge bump on the back of my neck and no right ankle due to the swelling from almost 10 massive bites. I am self-medicating with benadryl and hydrocortizone so I have been groggy as hell to boot. But, I have managed to pull through and am still on top of my course-work and am starting to have some fun teaching. I just hope my body gets used to the mozzies soon! (Just so you know- I don't have a fever and I'm not sick so there is no dengue fever or malaria to report, as of yet.)

The course is quite challenging and carries a high work load but I imagine part of the difficulty is because I'm coming of a 2 month holiday where I didn't have to do much of anything... Except have fun, and that's easy! It's hard but I'm learning a lot and I'm so glad that I'm doing it. Going into a teaching job completely unprepared would be miserable because I would have no idea what I was doing. I'm slowly picking up techniques and gaining confidence which makes me happy!

I am lucky enough to have a girl in my class that has been in Chiang Mai for 18 months. She took us out on Friday night to two really cool places! One was called 'Fabrique' and it had outdoor tables on grass with bean bags and two dance floors- one with dance music, the other with hip hop (where I heard some JT!)- and it was a lot of fun. I didn't get to bed until 5 am and my personal opinion is that not closing clubs at 2 am is criminal. We're all drunk anyway and nothing good happens after 2 am!

There is a lady in my course that swears she has never been drunk... Little does she know that we are now all on a mission to change that! I also don't believe anyone that claims to have never been drunk at some point in their life. I think that they just weren't as drunk as everyone else!

Life is a bit boring here but I am settling into my daily routine... I am working out regularly and eating quite well. It is also nice to sleep in the same bed every night. I am looking forward to my move to Bangkok which happens in 3 weeks. I am excited to explore the city more and to really settle down for a while. Also, the weather is starting to cool down which has been welcomed on my part. Even though I have now been in tropical weather for months, I still have no tan to show for it. I guess it's official- I only have two colors and it's white and red. :)